<?php
    header_remove('ETag');
    header_remove('Pragma');
    header_remove('Cache-Control');
    header_remove('Last-Modified');
    header_remove('Expires');
    
    $username = "USERNAME";
    $password = "PASSWORD";

    # PHP Checks
    $php_status = function_exists('phpversion') ? "PHP" : "";
    # MySQL Checks
    $conn = new mysqli("localhost", $username, $password);
    $mysql_status = ($conn && !$conn->connect_error) ? "MySQL" : "";
    $mysql_error = $conn->connect_error;
    $conn->close();
    
    # Return Results
    echo "$php_status & $mysql_status UP\n";
        if (!$php_status) {
            echo "<br>";
            echo "<br>";
            echo "PHP CHECK FAILED\n";
            echo "<br>";
            echo "<pre>";
            print_r($php_status);
        } 
        
        if (!$mysql_status) {
            echo "<br>";
            echo "<br>";
            echo "MySQL CHECK FAILED\n";
            echo "<br>";
            echo "<pre>";
            print_r($mysql_error);
        }
?>
